Once upon a time two cats found a piece of cheese and cut it into two pieces. Now, one piece was slightly bigger than the other. Naturally, both the cats wanted the bigger piece.
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So they decided to approach a monkey and ask him to sort out the matter.
The monkey said, 'Don't worry. I'll make both the pieces equal. Then it took a bite from the bigger piece. But this made the other piece larger. So it took a bite from the other piece. This continued till the pieces became very small.
Seeing this, the cats pleaded, 'Sir. We are satisfied. Let us have the pieces now.'
The shrewd monkey replied, 'This is my fee for sorting out the problem.'
Saying this, it gobbled up all the remaining cheese.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called ' allergies.' Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait….
It's only a matter of time.